He’s good person, caring and understanding but when it comes to sex that’s when the problem starts.
So I’ve been dating this guy for a couple of months now. He’s good person, caring and understanding but when it comes to sex that’s when the problem starts. Sure we do have a 12 years age difference, but whenever we try having sex within 3-4 minutes top he ejaculates.
At first he’d blame it on him having back problems, but then after visiting the doctors a couple of times that excuse is not valid anymore.
I don’t necessarily have a problem with him not lasting. Of course I’d love to have sex until I can’t anymore but if he can’t do that that’s okay. My issue is the fact that, right after he ejaculates I’m left with nothing. I get so frustrated and my lower belly automatically starts hurting, it’s like blue balls but for women.
And no matter how much I try explaining that to him, it’s like he doesn’t understand. Like am I just here to please you or is this not a two way street where the both of us get something out of it!?
I’m not sure what to do, it doesn’t feel right ending a relationship over sexual frustration but then again it is proven true that a relationship where both or one party is not pleased sexually tend to experience cheating and eventually just fall apart.
I don’t think there’s anything that needs to be done that has not been done. If you have spoken to him so much about this dissatisfaction and nothing is changing, then of course, you have reached a stage where you have to make a tough decision about what you want.
I think the age difference thing could be a factor. Some men have been known to experience a dip in libido at a certain age. People who go through this may start to see this from age 50 or thereabouts. If he’s at this age or above, that could be the explanation for his bad performance in bed.
However, I think one possible way to rectify this issue will be to expressly tell him what you want him to do for you so you can reach orgasm too. Tell him specifics instead of just telling him he needs to do better. If it is oral sex you need to achieve that or some other form of sexual acts apart from penetration, you need to speak out so as to compensate for the unsatisfactory penetrative sex. That could be the solution to all of this.
If that does not work, I think you will have to decide whether sex is that important to you or if you are cool with a relationship regardless of the weak sex.
If you are cool with it, then just continue cruising in your relationship. If not, then I think you should just get out because eventually, your unmet needs will put too much strain on your relationship.
I also think it is better to leave than to cheat on your partner. If that will be a problem down the line, you might as well end it now.
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